The top table can be a surprisingly political issue when you are 
planning your wedding. You will be amazed at how much offence you can cause by suggesting that your future mother in law might be more comfortable at a regular table with the rest of her children if your own mother will take pride of place at the top table.
Some guests may also be offended if they are seated too far from the top table, seeing this as an indication that they are not considered an important guest, or if their view of the top table is somehow obstructed. Arranging your tables so that everyone is more or less the same distance from you and your new husband may be tricky, but it will certainly reduce arguments and resentment.
As a bride you may love the idea of a raised top table. You will be the centre of attention, and you just have to sit and smile while family members make speeches and tell you how beautiful you look. Others would prefer to shy away from the spotlight and sit at a low regular table amongst their guests.
Here are some common questions about arranging your top table, along with possible solutions:
Who should sit at the top table?
The answer to this question depends a little on the size of your top table, but traditionally the bride and groom, the best man and maid of honour, and both sets of parents should sit at the top table. You might also want to include any bridesmaids and ushers if you have space; in fact you can include anyone that you are close to at your top table. If you are having a receiving line it should be arranged in the same way as the top table and should include the same people.
What order should they sit in?
If you stick to the eight members of the bridal party mentioned above, it would be customary to seat the top table boy girl, starting with the mother of the groom, then the father of the bride, the maid of honour, the groom, the bride, the best man, the mother of the bride and finally the father of the groom. Many couples choose to rearrange this format to have all the ladies on the bride’s side and the men on the groom’s side, or simply to let their parents sit in couples rather than separately.
What is a parents table?
If your top table isn’t very big, or you have a lot of bridesmaids and ushers that you want up there with you, it is common to have a second significant table for your parents. Both sets of parents can share a table if they get along well, or you can have two tables; especially if you have step parents to accommodate. It can be a nice gesture to let your parents host their own table and let them choose who to have seated there, but usually it would be your grandparents, aunts and uncles, your parents’ friends, and your celebrant if they are attending your reception.
What is a sweetheart table?
If your family are arguing over who should sit at the top table, a sweetheart table could be the perfect answer. Just let them all sit at regular tables and keep the top table for you and your new husband.
A sweetheart table is a small table for two set where all the guests can see it in the same way as a top table, but where you and the groom can also have a little time alone together on your big day. You will spend so much of your wedding day mingling with guests and catching up with old friends, a sweetheart table could be the only chance you get to talk to your husband during the reception.